All those that know me, will be aware that myself and my
house mate Amelia, have been suffering from ennui for an extended period of
time.
For all those who aren’t aware:
Ennui: Listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement
Ennui raises its ugly head when you have too many
assignments to do to allow yourself to go outside, but simultaneously you have no
will to do any of them. So you compromise by sitting in the kitchen eating
bread in your slippers and occasionally saying something a bit saucy about
someone you don’t like very much, or reading really intellectual literature like
“Why he thinks you’d make a flabby corpse,” in Glamour magazine.
My personal ennui has the following symptoms:
1.
Complete refusal to change my bin: At the moment
my bedroom bin is like a disgusting game of ‘Rubbish Jenga.’ I have no will to
change it and am simply balancing cotton pads, precariously, on top of its
heaving mass.
2.
Unwillingness to eat a dinner that cannot by
cooked in one saucepan: Everyone knows I’m kind of a healthy eating freak, I’m
just a v. lazy one at the moment. So, most of my current recipes go like this: Step one: stir fry
lots of veg. Step two: cover in tinned tomatoes. Step three: Add some sort of
pulse so I don’t die of lack of protein. Et voila, enjoy your plate of steamy tomato
mess. Don’t eat it too fast its heartburn in a semi-liquid form.
3.
Really boring outfits: For somebody who owns
most of a retro warehouse, I have achieved wearing only jeans for three months
and that’s on good days, most of the time its cow-print-dressing-gown-o-clock. Check out my mismatching slippers for further evidence that I'm becoming a member of the lost generation.
4.
Reiterating the same opinions cause making new
ones is time consuming: I’m having to put Christmas baubles on my summer
grievances as my ennui prevents me reading the paper, except for the stories
about baby ducks.
5.
Anarchic washing systems: Take washing out of
machine, spread all over banisters, leave for 40 days, throw in bottom of
wardrobe.
6.
Refusal to do anything: Got a gig? I ain't
coming. Got a poetry reading? I’m in bed. Any plans that normally I’d break off
my arm and feed it to a dog to go to? I’m afraid you’ll be encroaching on my
busy schedule of painting and re-painting my nails whilst not answering the
door to the postman.
7.
Watching box sets I don’t care about: Heroes,
Sex and the City, Roswell, various other vapid E4 9-o-clock heart-wrenched-teen
shit. I hate all the characters, I don't empathise with their snotty lives at all, but dammit I'm in it til the bitter end.
8.
Listening to Belle and Sebastian on repeat: This
can only be a bad sign.
9.
Writing false letters to Amelia, from the
company that made her posh juice, claiming that she has wronged them and that
they are terribly offended. (this last point of course involves carefully
thought out writing, which I have done instead of anything productive.) I'm trying
to make her paranoid. Its something to do.
So yeah, if anyone knows of a
cure for ennui that does not involve getting sucker punched by a pseudo faith
healer, let a spotty girl know eh?