Can opposites work?

 We are all aware of the saying opposites attract, but, just how true is this? In order to find out, this week we sent Beefy, a thirty four year old, self confessed, party animal, and Wolfy, a wolf, on a date to see "The Avengers Ensemble." Lets see if we can make the next love's young dream. Here's their stats:

Wolfy

Wolfy is 24 and works as an Orthodontist. He enjoys running through fields in the twilight, hunting and winding up his alpha. His turn ons include: Lack of mange, a strong fixed jaw and the ability to do tricks with sticks and balls. Turn offs include: The Conservative party and raw vegetables

Beefy

 Beefy is 34 and works in Tesco. He likes to spend his evenings cross stitching and remaking old horror movies using Argos catalogs. Turn ons include: Knowledge of Chinese politics, Alexa Chung and limpets. Turn offs include: Adaptations of Hans Christian Anderson fairytales and overuse of the word 'basically.'

And so the date begins with a ride in a sumptuous carriage, provided by us!
"I was really nervous," remarked Beefy, "having never been on a blind date before, this was a worry, but Wolfy seems nice and his tail is very evocative."
Wolfy commented that the conversation was a little stunted "I've never really liked offal and Beefy was terribly keen, he kept calling my tail a 'snake of desire.' It was very off putting."

 We provided the pair with 3D glasses (no expense spared!) Wolfy seemed a little quiet, when asked, he stated that Beefy had asked him if he was an endangered species, he thought his beard was unsightly, he questioned if Beefy was a little drunk and he suspected Beefy was a closet royalist. Beefy remarked: "I've been concerned recently about my fungal nail infection, but I reckon Wolfy is the accepting type and gadzooks that tail hubba hubba hubba, I'd invite him round for Argos Massacre Night"

The rest of the trip passed in relative quiet. At one point Wolfy asked if Beefy liked Jazz, unfortunately, Beefy misheard him, believing he said "need a wazz." An awkward situation followed which we have promised not to discuss in this article.

Beefy doing the gentlemanly thing.

After purchasing tickets Beefy spent 30 minutes in the bathroom, almost causing us to miss the film. It remains unclear what he was doing in there. Wolfy declined to comment, simply stating: "this is going in my book."

 Beefy then insisted on having an icecream, which he ate whilst silently crying and attempting to stroke the hair of the cashier in front of him. I asked him how he thought the date was going: "Well," he said, "I reckon tails over there is hooked, I got it all baby, the hat, the ravens. In Tesco they call me "The womanater" cause I'm good with women."

I pointed out that Wolfy was not a woman but a male wolf.

He replied: "beggars can't be chooser."

We later discovered that the pseudonym 'The Womanater' was wanted by Merseyside police.

The two lovers entered into the film (Who knows who this woman is, someone entranced by watching a couple so obviously in love I'd imagine) Wolfy could be heard lovingly whispering in to Beefy's ear: "If you touch my tail again I'll break your bloody fingers." Sweet.

After the film was over Wolfy seemed uncharacteristically quiet stating that Beefy has spoken about his love of raw vegetables and the Conservative Party for much of the film and had , at one point, made him salute a tiny statue of David Cameron that he had squirreled away in his pocket. Our reporters pointed out that in all relationships one must make compromises. Beefy spent another 45 minutes in the toilets, we did not ask why.

 Wolfy was found hiding against a picture of Robert Downey Jnr, visibly shaken. "I won't go into those toilets," he told me, "that gingernut is a psycho."
Luckily the romantic mood was not spoilt as Beefy believed they were playing a game and quickly snuggled up to a picture of Scarlet Johanssen. "I've always thought Scarlet was a nice girl," Sad Beefy, "Now, back to the toilets!"

So far so good! The two of them seem to be getting on well!

Unfortunately, though Beefy wanted to take the date onto dinner Wolfy claimed he was leaving the country the next morning. So our lucky couple depart, will they make it? I don't like to use hyperbole but: They are the greatest love man has ever known.